Don’t get me wrong…. this is not a complaining about being pregnant,” I’m so uncomfortable” Whine, Whine, Whine kind of post. It is not that, while it’s true, I am uncomfortable and I feel like I whine a whole lot. This is so much more! 39.4 weeks is an accomplishment for a lady with a short cervix! I’m proud of this little butter ball! But now I’m ready!
I faced a lot fear with Ava and the whole short cervix thing and I spent a lot of time worrying. Miss Ava Blaire was born 40 weeks and 1 day! It feels like all that worrying was for nothing, that she was never in danger. I know that’s not the case but you can’t help but feel that way!
Let’s just say this pregnancy while it’s had its ups and downs, I was much more prepared and there hasn’t been nearly as much fear and worry as with Ava. I feel ok!
I have worried, I have cried, and I’ve wished to know for a matter of fact that I’ve made the right choices, that things I’ve done in the last 40 months haven’t messed up this baby.
How when I raise my voice with Ava, she starts to roll around? The times I’ve cried and she jabs her little elbow into my belly. Is this what she knows? But then she moves around to sound of her sister’s voice and I can’t help but imagine how much these two are going to fight, cry, laugh and love each other. I’m now just ready to know that she’s ok!
For the last 39.4 weeks, I haven’t been me! I’ve been a body, an incubator, a vessel and I don’t mind that at all! As any mom would, I’d throw myself in front of a bus for my kids and I wouldn’t be a mom if I didn’t sacrifice myself. So I’m ok but now I’ve worried enough, I’ve given all the room I have in my physical body and now I just want to give the room in my heart and in our home and within our family! I want to know that I’ve done good! I’m ready to fall in love with her and with our new family!
When people say to me,” Still no baby?” I get it, you mean no harm but I’ve spent every day for 277 days being aware of this baby, her health, my health and this pregnancy. I’ve set every part of me aside willingly to this other person and at 277 days in… I’m aware I’m almost there. I want nothing more than to enjoy these last few days of being pregnant as this is the last time, I will ever experience this. But it’s like being a kid on Christmas morning waiting to open presents, I’m ready to know that this little girl is perfect will all 10 fingers and all 10 toes. Yes, I’m almost there!