Almost 8 years ago, I had a baby! I knew that change was inevitable, however, I was unaware of how drastically it would change. I was 24 when I got pregnant, and Ava was born just a few months before my 25th birthday. Frequently when asked about babies, people will often respond with, “we’re waiting for the right time!” Nothing will prepare you for exactly how complicated the balance between life, being a wife and motherhood is.
It’s one thing to lose you to motherhood, it’s common and we’ve all been there. We become wrapped up in our children and suddenly one day we realize it’s been months. Months since you’ve coloured your hair, shaved your legs or peed alone with the door closed. I frequently ask myself,” Where the hell did I go in all of this?
From the moment you wake up, you’re on the go, it’s all a game trying to balance it all. From school, sports teams, homework, meal prep, laundry and groceries, then throw in work on top of it all. We are all very busy people wearing many hats! Then the husband comes home and you suddenly have yet another hat to put on. You’ve played referee, doctor, chauffeur, chef, booboo kisser, disciplinary, and now you have to play wife.
It can all be very draining, and just when the crazy settles, the kids are in bed. The husband bats those big eyes at you and then you must be loving, kind and gentle with him. How is this possible when you’ve given all of you to the children? This balance is tough and one that I don’t embrace well myself. I’ve become more aware of the struggles and the challenges. I’ve found solace in acceptance. Some days, I am not going to be the world’s best mother, wife or blogger. For today, that will be ok! Sometimes, you have to give yourself permission to be ok with only giving it your best!
This NYE, I’m headed out with the husband for the evening. It gives me the chance to embrace the supportive wife role. My husband is always gently poking fun at my mom wardrobe and colour choices. My wardrobe doesn’t necessarily scream romance, as it is mostly black and stocked full of tank tops and denim or leggings. Not so romantic is it? So this past year I’ve found myself on the search for simple accessories to encourage and embrace both romances of a wife, my inner bad-ass of myself and then also being #momlife friendly! Here are my top 4 essentials for finding that balance. It’s not easy but finding those key accessories will help remind you that you are still in their somewhere!
1. For the small part of the original me, that’s still inside this body, I wear Mint & Birch stamped cuff. It boasts my favourite phrase, Get Shit Done! Growing up, my father instilled a strong work ethic always. I cannot even count the number of times I heard him say, “you’re only as good as your word!” it is engraved in my soul. In every moment, when it feels too hard, or I lose motivation, that phrase sticks. I’ve contemplated a tatoo however I’m kind of a chicken. For now, my cuff is my daily reminder that I am only as good as my word and I want my girls to grow up with this in mind. Therefore today and every day past and present I strive to always “Get Shit Done!”
2. For the mom in me, I have a Clutch from Missy May Bags. I love this clutch because it’s large enough to hold all the things that I need, my wallet, my cell phone, keys, cosmetics and all sorts of things but I love that it also fits inside the diaper bag. My clutch keeps my items safe from the constant re-organizing by the curiosity of one Miss Zoe. Furthermore, I grab my clutch from the diaper bag and like Clark Kent to Superman I transform from Mom to Janette in one swift movement.
3. For the wife, the romantic inside that still craves the touch of strong hands. I wear Charlotte Tilbury Scent of a Dream perfume. My husband loves the scent, it’s almost magnetic. He gets that smile, y’all know which one I’m talking about. Just as he catches the scent of the intoxicating floral notes. It attracts LOVE, LIGHT, POWER, POSITIVITY and SEX to the wearer! It’s fresh and invigorating, this confidence-boosting aura develops over 15 minutes.
4. For my inner-self, the badass inside, the wife and partner to my husband, I jazz up that basic wardrobe he gently laughs at me for with these gorgeous earrings from Earrings and Stuff called Eddie earrings. They have the romance of a pearl paired with the clear crystals and size that the bad ass in me appreciates and which help transform that basic outfit into something extra special in just moments! With one pair of earrings, a clutch and
With one pair of earrings, a clutch, a cuff, and a simply applying Scent of A Dream to pulse points, I become something more than a mom. I find parts of “me” in every piece and that remind me that even though I wear my badge of motherhood with pride, I am still me inside their and that I am still capable of romance. It may be a hard balance right now but right now is not forever and with a little work and these 4 essential items, I will slowly restore and remind myself that those parts of me that I feel like I’ve been missing are still there and waiting for me! Accept the reminders and find solace in your best simply being enough!
We received these items from the companies directly for inclusion in this post. We hand selected them as they are truly a passion of Ava To Zoe. All opinions expressed in this post are 100% of my own!