This post about taking mommy time was previously published, I updated it to reflect my current thoughts on taking mommy time and to update some links. This was actually one of the very first blog posts that I ever wrote!

I think taking Mommy time is so important, in fact, I know it is! I’m also aware that since Ava was born, I’ve said this but I have never really practiced what I preached.  This is from a book “100 Questions from my Child”, a book my mother had gotten me written by Mallika Chopra.

If you know a mom who is much like me, and never practices what they preach as for mommy time, stop by one day… kick her out for an hour and play with her children.  Bring a $10.00 gift card for starbucks..even better!

This piece in particular resonated with me and I wanted to share the answer Mallika gave her daughters about why she needs to mommy time with you. 

“Being a mother requires wearing many hats.  From managing the house, meals, bath time, nap time and bills, to balance work and relationships many days I find very few moments to even sit down.  Life with kids gets crazy, and there are times I feel I just can’t manage any more.  But the reality sinks in- as a mom, I can’t even let the craziness get to me!

Then there are those days when things are just more difficult.  There is a work deadline, no good in the house, the phone doesn’t stop ringing, the bills are late and I have a miserable headache.  Inevitably on such days, I find that my daughters, sensing my stress, also demand more attention, fight more, and are generally moody.

My daughters are used to the concept of my needing some mommy time, and my husband respects my need for it.  For me, finding some ME time every day has been life transforming.  These moments, if tapped into regularly, build up over time to give me a source of peace, perspective, and calmness.  Ideally, I can meditate for 15 minutes to catch my breath and be silent.  Most often, my mind is racing with all the things I haven’t done, forgot to do, or need to do.  Nonetheless, I force myself to take the time to decompress.  I become more centered, less frantic, and calmer. Family time becomes more focused and more fulfilling.

When my daughters ask me why I need mommy time, the answer is quite simple.   Mommy time makes me a better mommy!

As mothers, we feel selfish or guilty if we take some “me time” I did for many years but honestly I think it’s a work in progress. Sometimes the plate feels too full, you cannot possibly put one more thing on that plate and yet you want to hit pause and take some me time? Ya right!

When I began running, it was the thing that allowed me to mentally put all the things away that maybe were hanging out where they didn’t need to be. I couldn’t run listening to music as I found the cords distracting so in my moments of anxiousness, I found this the best time to ask myself what was lingering in the back of my mind?

I’d make note of the things I needed to do and what was realistic! What could I actually get done today? What do I actually NEED to get done today? What do I want to get done today? Will I be ok if these things didn’t get done today? As I ran, I found myself really putting things into perspective. There was a lot of things I wanted to get done today but they didn’t NEED to get done today.

I was setting myself up to fail with unrealistic expectations of myself. In my personal opinion, balance is like a unicorn it simply doesn’t exist in the material way we want it too. Balance is figuring out what you’re ok with letting go of today! I am busy, I wear many hats but at the end of the day when I’m asking how do you do it all? I simply respond, “I don’t… I can’t” and I’m ok with that cause taking that me time makes me a better me, a better mommy, a better friend and wife!

 

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